I'm sorry that you've predominantly dated boys and not men, but I promise you there are TONS of real men out there. Men who contribute to the partnership (and indeed see it as a partnership, and not as indentured servitude, which is what it sounds like you've experienced).

If partnership is what you desire, you can definitely have it. And if you'd rather not open yourself up, that's cool too.

Wishing you the best, whatever you decide.