I see what you mean... and it goes back to why I think ultimatums are awful, though I would offer up the alternative idea that he might want her...but not enough. If she felt safe and secure in his love and affection, she wouldn't feel the need to push for more closeness. He might like her (or the idea of her) but I just don't think he is all-in, the way she is. I would think that the mere act of needing to take a pause means you're not all in.

But I could be wrong as he and I have not spoken about it and I'm only getting things from her side (and, for the record, I don't condone what she is doing)!